A Social Commentary
BioMark Budman was born in the former Soviet Union. He is the publisher of a flash fiction magazine Vestal Review. His novel My Life at First Try was published by Counterpoint Press to wide critical acclaim. He co edited flash fiction anthologies from Ooligan Press and Persea Books/Norton. He is at work at his novel about Lenin running for the president of the United States.
Lady Gaga carefully places a bag on the dry cleaner’s counter as if it contains a garment made of Swarovski crystals. She wears a skin tight dress of something inhumanly bright. Her shades are the size of a VW Beetle’s windshield.
“Be careful with this dress, boy,” Lady Gaga says to the clerk who ceased to be a boy when Reagan and Gorbachev were presidents. “It’s made of foreskins.”
The clerk nods. His face is as blank as the first page of an unwritten story.
“Do you know cheap michael kors who I am?” Lady Gaga asks.
“You are a lady customer,” the clerk answers. His accent i cheap michael kors s vaguely Eastern European.
Lady Gaga takes off her shades. Her eyes are overflowing with something that could be mistaken for kindness only by a person suffering from prosopagnosia. “Are you shitting me?”
The clerk indicates with a shrug that shitting lady customers is above his pay grade.
L cheap michael kors ady Gaga’s face brightens up. “You’re probably uncircumcised, boy?”
The clerk indicates with a shrug that the state of his penis’ tip is not the lady customer’s business.
“What is the nature of your stain?” he asks.
“On the dress made of fores cheap michael kors kins? Blood, semen and vaginal discharge.”
The clerk dutifully writes it down. “How do you spell ‘discharge?’ One S or two?”
“What do I look like to you? A walking dictionary?”
“I’ll use two.”
Lady Gaga leaves. The clerk watches her skinny ass wrapped in plastic. Does he know who she is? If you enter “la” in Google search, guess what comes up?